So many black women seem to be wondering how men will react after they transition to natural hair. Will they still get attention from men? Will other women have a negative reaction? This is an interesting question that has many, many different perspectives, but there are a few things to keep in mind when we start asking ourselves questions like this…
A black women’s natural hair is just that…natural
If you do encounter a person who makes negative comments about curly or kinky hair, try to keep in mind that everyone is entitled to their own hair style preferences, but also remind them that this is how your hair naturally grows out of your scalp. Natural hair is the hair you were born to have; it protects you from harsh sunlight, keeps your scalp cool, and requires no toxic, caustic chemicals to maintain. Even my closest Caucasian friends are shocked when they learn how perms actually work and what they are made of. It’s hard to argue with keeping chemical relaxer off your head. Your curly hair is perfectly natural!
We can’t be everything to everybody
Some men love natural hair styles on black women because they are edgy, down to earth, and a tribute to our heritage and African aesthetics. Some men hate “kinky hair” on black women because it seems untamed or because they are intimidated. Some women love natural hair because it’s healthy and easy to style and maintain. Some women hate it because it’s unconventional and looks “lazy”. You can’t please everyone, and there really isn’t any point in trying. The only person you really need to please is yourself.
Everyone has their preferences
Before you start stressing over a man ignoring you because of your natural hair, think about how quickly you would approach a man with a jheri curl, a high-top fade, a bald head, or a long pony tail. There are some styles you’re attracted to, and some that you just aren’t. It’s nobody’s fault, and there isn’t anything wrong with it. Even without all of the stigma, even without the media’s representations, and even without racial tensions, people would still have certain preferences for certain appearances, and that is part of being human. There is no point in changing your hair to the “right” style to be with the “wrong” person!
Your confidence as a black woman speaks louder than your hair
At the end of the day, your confidence level is going to speak volumes to the outside world, much more so than your hairdo for the day. The question isn’t really how you wear your hair, its do you wear it well? Are you doing it justice? Are you wearing your new styles as a proud person full of charisma and enthusiasm toward life? Or are you hiding in the background ashamed? Self-esteem, ambition, body language, posture, facial expressions, the company you keep, your scent, the sound of your voice…these are all factors that are taken into consideration sub-consciously when we are introduced to a new person for the first time. If you aren’t getting the attention you’re looking for make sure you evaluate your entire package, and don’t just blame it on your natural hair!